Why is it that in giving all kinds of unsolicited advice and input, no one ever warns brides of an important universal truth: life, with all of its demands and stresses simply does not stop when you’re planning your wedding.
This can be frustrating, especially when your life is pretty crazy to begin with. Perhaps you’re in grad school and trying to complete an advanced degree. Maybe you and your fiancé both have high-intensity careers.
It’s hard enough for you to have lunch together once a week and now you’re expected to coordinate an event like none you’ve ever planned; one that costs more than almost anything you’ve ever purchased, and with a team of people you’ve met all of once?
If you’re stressed, it’s hardly a wonder!
Here are some painless steps you can take to simplify your wedding planning and reduce the stress:
- Delegate: accept that by losing a little bit of control you’ll gain a bunch of sanity, something you could use more of right now. Let your fiancé choose the DJ, or give your mom your favor specs and let her sort out the rest.
- Prioritize: not everything needs to be decided at once. Choose your venue, your caterer (if necessary) and your wedding planner in the first round as early as you can. Give yourself a month or two then select your photographer, florist and entertainer. After a little break secure your invitations and baker. Depending on your priorities and the demand for the pros you really want, you may shuffle some of these around, but know that you don’t have to pick everything all in one fell swoop. Give yourself time to internalize your wedding priorities and attend to your “non-wedding” life demands.
- Choose a Board of Directors: hand pick the people who will help you make decisions and then very nicely let everyone else know that you have it under control. Be selective – if your dear sister drives you absolutely nuts, exclude her from the short list (but be nice and give her some task, as inconsequential as it is, that she can work on so she’ll feel important). Weddings are by nature committee-style projects, but you’re the Chief Operating Officer – choose your advisors and block out the rest of the voices.
- Make a Plan: a written plan. If you start your event timeline early, you can easily visualize which decisions have been made and which ones are outstanding. You’ll feel more in control of the process and have fewer “have I thought about every possible thing” moments. Streamlining the work makes everything easier.
- Hire the Best; then Trust Them: be diligent in your screening process and hire the professionals best suited to your wedding needs. Then trust them. Micromanaging isn’t the same thing as communicating, and it will only serve to drive you AND your pros batty. Choose wisely and communicate effectively – you’ll have done everything humanly possible to have the wedding day of your dreams. Maintain a sense of humor and it will feel like a magical day.
Don’t let the stress of life compound the stress of planning a wedding. You have the power to take control of your planning process and implement some great practices. If you do, you’ll thank yourself on your wedding day.
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